This #dailysketchext hasn't become a painting yet, but maybe it will be... It's a funny thing about painting; I have a friend who is a well known artist whom I look up to and she once pointed out to me a painting she did where her mood changed when she was working on it and how she felt it sort of messed up that part of the painting. She then pointed out that one of the hardest things to do in painting is to maintain the mood in your mind throughout creating the whole piece so that you can express it well. She put into words something that I had been feeling for a while. It also explains why some sketches have not become paintings yet.
By the way, the writings on my sketches are my notes to myself. This drawing came straight out of my head with no references and after I drew it I saw what I needed to fix. When something is just living in my mind, it isn't a fixed object yet so it often looks amazing in my head because there are so many possibilities. It isn't until I get it down on paper that I begin to work out what fixed positions actually work out best.
I really have to push myself to be fearless about putting myself out there via my work. I worry a lot about being judged. These days I'm actively trying to not let my fears get the better of me because my fears do get in the way of me expressing my heartfelt love... Yeah, it's my constant struggle to trust.